A retard? I did not even know what the word meant. What I heard was that my father was going to take my friend away from me. What could I do? Then I heard the voice of my Grandpa Day, who was living with us at the time, "Now, Jack, Joycie playing with this young unfortunate woman can do her no harm, and it shows people what a kind and understanding man you are to encourage compassion in your daughter. And, Millie, (what he called my mother, his daughter), it just gets Joyce out of your hair doesn't it?"</p><p>I learned a lot about communication from Grandpa Day that day, as well as earning a free pass to see Eleanor whenever I wished. Grandpa Day knew how to say things to people in such a way that they felt compelled to follow. By praising the other for thoughts he was investing in them, he usually got them to agree with his point of view by thinking it was theirs. If Grandpa Day said you are so smart for thinking a certain way, it is a rare person that responded with, "Well, I am stupid and I don't think that."</p><p>Over the next few years, I grew older but Eleanor did not. That meant nothing to us. We did not look for our differences, but enjoyed each other for who we were. We would lie on the cool grass and describe what we saw in the clouds. Because Eleanor could not read, I read to her. She was appreciative, and that certainly encouraged my love of books. Eleanor saw things in a simplistic way, pure and without prejudice. She radiated a sweet calm. </p><p>I think my love of the now was born from my friendship with Eleanor. I began to go to church with her and her parents, wanting to share the serenity they seemed to all possess. Was this a religious epiphany for me? Of course, it was.</p><p>Eleanor watched me become an adolescent, marry and have children.</p><p>Eleanor was to help bring about the actions that were to change my entire life. All this from, and I still curse this word, a retard. But that, as the saying goes, is another story. </p><p>Next week I will return to my normal column format, but now every month I will do two columns in this series. Next month you will learn about Mrs. Lesley, beauty and strength, courage and cowardice.</p><p>As always, I welcome your information in our column. </p><p>Call me at 826-0874, email ringram257@aol.com, or mail to 703 Page.</p><p>My publisher hopes to have "May All Your News Be Good News" out by the end of next month, so I will be planning book signings and readings.</p><p>Thank you for all the wonderful feedback you give me on my column that makes me feel like I am part of your lives. Let us celebrate being alive, and until next time, may all your news be good news.