Monday, Aug. 30, 2010
John Spevak: Important Stories
Print
E-Mail
AIM
ReprintFor the past two years I've been on a mission: encouraging older adults to write their life stories.
That may seem strange. Aren't there more important issues, you may be asking, to take on as a mission?
There may be. But I'm convinced that all older adults could benefit from writing their life stories, and more important, their families would benefit.
I think each of us asks the question, "How did I come to be the person I am today?" An important part of the answer to that question is the family in which we were raised. What were my parents like when they were young? What were my grandparents like? What did they go through, what did they experience?
For many people in my generation, born just before, during or soon after World War II, the answers are usually foggy. I know little, for example, about my parents' experiences when they were young. They wrote down little of their lives. I know even less about my grandparents, who wrote nothing.
Sometimes, if I was lucky, I could get my mom or dad talking, to tell a few stories about their lives. But most of what they expressed orally has vanished, like steam escaping from a teapot.
I would have liked to know what it was like for my mom to grow up in an immigrant family, in which her mother and father spoke little or no English. I would have liked to know what my dad was thinking and feeling as he left grade school to work at jobs to help support his parents. But I don't.
And I would have appreciated even more the stories of my grandparents. Why did they leave their country, travel 4,500 miles by ship and rail, and come to Chicago? What was their trip like? Were they excited or anxious? Did they have trouble assimilating? But I'll never know, because they never wrote their stories.
Yes, it's good to have a genealogical chart. My older sister Joan has been very good about creating such a chart, so I can see the limbs and branches of my family tree and on what twig I sit. Many people in our town, especially those of the Los Banos Genealogical Society, have done a particularly good job of this important and satisfying task.
But besides the lines and diagrams, the names and dates, I'd also like to know feelings, experiences and, yes, stories. Not necessarily a whole-life story, beginning with "I was born . . ." and moving chronologically forward in detail. That might be nice.
But even better are the small stories, the little vignettes and anecdotes about school days, or courtship, or places lived and jobs done. Stories intrigue me, stories about my family intrigue me even more, and I think that's true of all of us.
I really can't blame my grandparents. I'm sure they felt they didn't have the time to write; they were trying to survive. And most of my parents' generation didn't feel that what they thought or lived was of any importance, so why write about it?
But today we understand better the value of family stories. And we have more opportunities to write these stories -- either longhand on tablets or, if we're so inclined, using a keyboard on a computer.
That's why I've been encouraging older adults to attend the class I teach at the Los Banos Campus of Merced College every semester called "Writing Your Life Stories."
There are many selling points to the class: It's free; there's no enrollment cost. There's only a parking fee of a dollar a day. And the class is at a good time, 2 to 4 p.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
There are no grades or mandatory attendance. Come when you can, do what you can. You can hear the stories of others and, if you want, share your stories.
And so far many older adults have come. It's become a popular and enjoyable class.
But I worry about all the older adults who aren't coming. When I talk to senior citizens, many of them give two reasons for not joining the class and for not writing their life stories.
"Who'd be in interested in my stories? I've led a boring life" is a common response. It's unfortunate that a person would think like that. Every person's life is interesting. And every son and daughter would like to know more about their parents' lives. And, in time, every grandson and granddaughter would like to know more about their grandparents.
The second common response I get is, "I can't write." Again, this is a great misnomer. To write down your life stories, you don't need to be a "writer." In the class we never talk about things like grammar or style. Stories are never collected, let alone corrected.
In this class "writing" is simply putting your stories on a piece of paper. Just write the way you talk.
The only difference between a written story and an oral story is that a written story won't be forgotten. It can be shared. It can be kept and read later by younger persons and other generations.
The persons who have attended the class have enjoyed the experience of stories, writing their own and hearing those of others. They have talked about how much their children and even grandchildren have enjoyed reading the stories and learning more about their family.
My hope is this fall, when a new semester of Writing Your Life Stories starts on Sep. 7, the day after Labor Day, I'll see new faces, as well as the familiar faces of students who have taken the class before.
If that happens, I'll know that more families will understand their background. And more individuals will feel the satisfaction of writing stories for their families to appreciate and for themselves to enjoy.
(Comments on the writings of John Spevak, a regular Enterprise columnist, are encouraged and can be sent via email to spevak@telis.org.)